Put on a happy face

I know I haven't posted in a while - all of you readers should take this as a good sign. A VERY good sign. Not only am I feeling better, but I think Charlie is starting to as well. He is eating more and more on a regular basis*, is happy and as active as ever, is on the verge (we're thisclose) to crawling or scooching, and all is currently well in the Thomas household.

*Eating better is relative. Charlie is now finishing half of the average bottle, versus a quarter - or less - before.

This week's title is not meant to be dismissive. I don't mean 'put on a happy face' as in 'paste one on there for the world to see, and meanwhile cry quietly into your pillow at home'. I really mean I can smile right now. We are still so early in this process, but the more I see Charlie and the more I read about other kids with DCM and the more hopeful advances I see in heart treatments, the better I feel. I can't help but notice, too, that since I've been less stressed, Charlie has been feeling better. 'Duh.' says my very helpful husband. I'll only let him get away with that because it's his 31st birthday today.

Celebrations are important in our house. Charlie was at the table tonight, as every night, for the carrot cake and pizza Matt wanted, and we said 'Happy birthday Daddy!' all day today together. Well, I said it and Charlie laughed uproariously. He laughs a lot most days. It's a beautiful sound to hear.

This week we are off for an adventure at the One-of-a-Kind show in Toronto. We'll see how that goes - long drives both ways and two feeds out of the house. I'm nervous. I'll post about it after.

On that note, it's movie time around here (Matt fancies himself a movie buff). Happy birthday, Daddy!

Put on a happy face

Gray skies are gonna clear up,
Put on a happy face;
Brush off the clouds and cheer up,
Put on a happy face.
Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy,
It's not your style;
You'll look so good that you'll be glad
Ya' decide to smile!
Pick out a pleasant outlook,
Stick out that noble chin;
Wipe off that "full of doubt" look,
Slap on a happy grin!
And spread sunshine all over the place,
Just put on a happy face!
Put on a happy face
Put on a happy face
And if you're feeling cross and bitterish
Don't sit and whine
Think of banana split and licorice
And you'll feel fine
I knew a girl so glooming
She'd never laugh or sing
She wouldn't listen to me
Now she's a mean old thing
So spread sunshine all over the place
Just put on a happy face

Take it Easy

It's been a great week. This time last week, I was still thinking about Charlie's DCM being temporary. It's amazing how a shift in thinking can heal your own heart. I am now thinking of his DCM as something we are going to live with - emphasis on live - and a challenge that we have been chosen to take on.

I was really have trouble with Charlie's NG tube, in particular. If you are reading this and know me, then you know how much food affects my life. I love food. I can't imagine not loving food. I will never be skinny because I just. Love. Food. I couldn't imagine a child of mine not liking food. And then, suddenly, magically, Charlie started eating - dare I say liking - his solid food. It gives me so much hope for his future every time he opens that little mouth of his like a baby bird. The tube suddenly seems long-term, but temporary.

I will cook this child whatever he wants to eat, whenever he wants to eat it.

I was also having trouble with the thought of Charlie's life being cut short. I know I've said it before, but I've really started living as though nothing is certain. No one is guaranteed tomorrow. Charlie is doing great right now, and that's a focus I need to maintain.

So, all in all, things are great! Charlie is tranisitioning to not needing a third nap, which is awesome on two fronts: one, he has more time to scooch and be cute and around us, and two, it gives Matt and I some evening time because Charlie goes to bed earlier now. We completed Dexter Season 5, and now we're starting The Wire (although I left episode 1 to write this entry, so that doesn't bode well for the series). It's so nice to just spend time together that isn't sleeping in bed. I think things are finally starting to normalize. I'm sure now that I've written that, tomorrow we'll send up having a horrible day and I'll feel like we're right back to square one - but for now, and for the past week, I've felt again like I am enjoying being a mum, and that we're a normal family. It feels so good to feel normal again.

Part of feeling normal is getting out and doing things with other people. With our friends Virginia and Jamie, and their son Grayson, we took Charlie to the park for his first ride in the baby swing. He loved it! Here are the super-cute photos to prove it. Enjoy!

Charlie diggin' the swing

Charlie and Grayson

Take it Easy - The Eagles

"Take It Easy"

Well, I'm running down the road
tryin' to loosen my load
I've got seven women on
my mind,
Four that wanna own me,
Two that wanna stone me,
One says she's a friend of mine
Take It easy, take it easy
Don't let the sound of your own wheels
drive you crazy
Lighten up while you still can
don't even try to understand
Just find a place to make your stand
and take it easy
Well, I'm a standing on a corner
in Winslow, Arizona
and such a fine sight to see
It's a girl, my Lord, in a flatbed
Ford slowin' down to take a look at me
Come on, baby, don't say maybe
I gotta know if your sweet love is
gonna save me
We may lose and we may win though
we will never be here again
so open up, I'm climbin' in,
so take it easy
Well I'm running down the road trying to loosen
my load, got a world of trouble on my mind
lookin' for a lover who won't blow my
cover, she's so hard to find
Take it easy, take it easy
don't let the sound of your own
wheels make you crazy
come on baby, don't say maybe
I gotta know if your sweet love is
gonna save me, oh oh oh
Oh we got it easy
We oughta take it easy