Did I make you cry on Christmas day?

Charlie's first Christmas has come and gone. It was a day filled with all the good things a first Christmas should be - being spoiled by parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles, staying up way past our bedtime and enjoying good company all day long. I thought it would be more emotional for me - I thought I would spend the day thinking about future Christmases and where things were headed with Charlie, but, for once, I was able to live in the moment and enjoy every part of being a parent on a child's first Christmas.

Charlie got over his 'flu' as we are now calling it (the week-from-hell of not eating, crying unless he was being held, unable to sleep through the night) and immediately dove head first into a cold. When it rains, it pours. With the 'flu', we did end up taking him to the hospital, and they did wome tests (examines him blood work) and assured us whatever charlie had it was NOT heart failure related. Whew! But he had lost a bit of weight, so to keep food in him they changed his formula mix to regular strength, rather then the hyper caloric mix that is his standard. It did help him keep down his food, although the poops continued. I expect he lost a bit more weight but that it was nothing compared to what would have been the case had we not gone to the hospital and followed their advice.

So, about the cold. Who knew so much snot could occupy one little snub nose?! The poor kid can't breath worth shit, has given his dad the same cold, and is snorting and snarfing all over everything. I had to change my pajama top last night because the shoulder was covered - COVERED - in boogers. Appetizing, I know.

This second adventure-in-illness has made me so thankful we have the NG tube. He is literally unable to eat by mouth because he can't breath through his nose, so we have been tubing everything into him. He's keeping most of it down (two tiny barfs today - one, an ill-timed sneeze and the other was a I'm-crying-so-hard-because-I-want-to-be-with-the-people-so-I-puked barf) and I'm sure he's back to gaining. He is trying to eat each time we get out the bottle, and that's what's important to me.

So, second christmas comes tomorrow (i.e. the in-laws) and then we are having a dinner party on Thursday night. We go back to the hospital on Friday just to make sure we are back on the right track, and then it's really vacation time. The whole next week Matt has off (I know, us teachers are spoiled!) so we are planning on just relaxing. All in all, so far, a successful Christmas vacation.

Merry Christmas.

Did I make you cry on Christmas?/ Sufjan Stevens

This time of year you always disappear
You tell me not to call
You tell me not to call
And when the door is closed you're wearing different clothes
Or hiding in the paper, pretending not to hear

Inexpensive wine
I buy it all the time
You tell me take it back
You say you'll take a nap
But I can see it now
You always tell me how
I could do so much better
You said it in your letter

Did I make you cry
On Christmas day?
Did I let you down
Like every other day?
Did I make you cry
On Christmas day?
Did I let you down
On Christmas day?

The bed that isn't made
The broken window shade
The radiator's on
I loved you along
But I can see it now
You always tell me how
I could do so much better
You said it in your letter

I stay awake at night
After we have a fight
I'm writing poems about you
And they aren't very nice
I didn't mean to yell
I said I couldn't tell
I only grabbed your wrist
Or would you rather we kissed?

Did I make you cry
On Christmas day?
Did I make you cry
Like every other day?
Did I make you cry
On Christmas day?
Did I make you cry?