The last few weeks have been tough. Charlie hasn't really been 'well' since we left the hospital post-g-tube - he always seems to have a fever or be lethargic or vomiting. We have made a few trips to emergency departments - once down to Sick Kids because we thought his side look distended (a sure sign of fluid retention) and once because of his 39.9C fever. Then, early Tuesday morning, things to a turn for a worst.
I heard him around 2:45 quietly whining to himself. This is SO unlike him - he's usually asleep or screaming for me to come in and snuggle. He is not generally whiny. But there he was, on the monitor, whining away. Quietly. To himself. I thought perhaps he had rolled on his g-tube, so I quietly went in, only to be greeted by a pair of wet eyes and outstretched arms. I picked him up and as I did so...saw vomit. Everywhere. With blood in it.
Yes, blood.
I put Charlie down, went and got Matt (who was sleeping with the fan on and wouldn't have been able to hear me had I called) and by the time I got back, Charlie was vomiting MORE (how the child even had any more in his tummy is beyond me, and the realm of science) and panicking in his crib. I held him as he threw up and then went into uber-mom mode. I detached him from his pump, carried him to our room, ran a warn bath and got in the bath with him. By this point, Charlie was so entertained by the fact Mummy and he were getting in the bath in our CLOTHES he forgot about being upset.
Matt called the cardiologist on-call, who eventually directed us down to Sick Kids. I say 'eventually' because he was just a fellow (cardiologist in training) and he had to call the real cardiologist to consult before he could tell us to come. By the time he called us back, we were packed for an overnight and at the door, waiting. We would have been going whether or not he called back.
I set the cruise at 120 km/h and we sailed down to Toronto. There isn't a lot of traffic at 4am. It's lovely.
From there, things were pretty efficient, although I had to get all Mama Bear on the emergency nurses. They were trying to put in an IV into Charlie's very dehydrated, 'flat' veins and couldn't get it in. The poor kid would cry every time they poked him, and then fall asleep between attempts. After two tries, I asked WHY they were putting in an IV. They told me it was 'just in case' he needed fluids later. So, I told them he wouldn't be getting an IV unless he actually needed one, and they could just find someone who KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING for the blood draw.
Charlie didn't get an IV, and they found the Vampire Nurse who got blood from his arm, no problem. :S
We ended up spending the night there (so, from 5am Tuesday to noon on Wednesday) but all of Charlie's cultures came back negative. It's been deemed a 'virus' (thanks, specific doctors!) and we're just to ride it out. We also got some of his g-tube healing issues worked out while there, and we also met the new cardiologist follow from Singapore who is LOVELY, and took the time to explain to us how Charlie's Ejection Fraction is measured. We really appreciated his candor and kindness, and the fact he didn't assume we were stupid.
We also found out while there that Charlie's BNP (a hormone variant that informs heart failure) is now in the NORMAL levels. Amazing. It's 72, which is great for someone who has been in heart failure before. When we were admitted last August it was 1100. :(
So, that's the news. I am ready for some major regular-ness. Eating, normal days, healing arms and elbows, and no more drama. Please.
No More Drama - Mary J. Blige
So tired
Tired of all this drama
You go your way
I go my way (no more no more no more)
I wanna be free
(singin)
Broken heart again
Another lesson learned
You better know your friends
Or else you will get burned
Gotta count on me
Cuz i can garuntee that i'll be fine
No more
No more pain (no more pain)
No more pain (no more pain)
No drama, no more in my life (no more drama in my life no ones gonna make me hurt again)
Why'd i play the fool
Go through ups n downs
Knowing all the time
You wouldn't be around
Or maybe i liked the stress
Cuz i was young n restless
But that was long ago
I don't wanna cry no more
No more pain (no more pain x2 )
No more game (no more games messin with my mind)
No drama (no more drama in my life no ones gonna make me hurt again, no more~)
No more tears (no more tears i'm tired of cryin every nite)
No more fears (no more fears i really don't wanna cry)
No drama (no more drama in my life i don't ever wanna hurt again)
Wanna speak ma mind wanna speak ma mind
Uhhhh it feels so good
When you let go
Of all the drama in your life
Now you're free from all the pain
Free from all the games
Free from all the stress
So find your happiness
I don't know
Only god knows where the story ends for me
But i know where the story begins
Its up to us to choose
Whether we win or lose
And i choose to win
Ohhhh...
No more pain (no more~, tired)
No more game (no more games i'm tired, i'm so tired)
No drama (no more x7)
Background Singers : (No More Drama) x4
MJB:NO More
I'm tired of all this drama
Go 'head go 'head
U demons getting out of my face
Go get out of my life
I'm about to lose my mind
NO.....
Help me help me sing
Choir : (NO MORE DRAMA) x6
MJB: No More Drama
No more, no more, uhh. Yeah~
No more, no more drama
Ohh help me sing
I need a (peace of mind x3)
Yeah i need
Hide but nicely i need to know that u r free
Oh nox2
No morex2
No more dramax2
In my in my... life.
Showing posts with label Bad day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bad day. Show all posts
Friday, July 20, 2012
Posted with Blogsy
Friday, April 13, 2012
One Week *Updated*
If I ever have a week worse then this one, I won't be doing this blog anymore. Honestly. I feel like I have become one of those whiny people - I work with a woman like this - where everything is wrong, all the time. Only this week, it's true! Forgive my whining and indulge me, will you?
Friday: trip to our hospital for an echo day with Charlie. We were excited about said echo because at last check, he was doing so well, remember? Well, it turns out that he really wasn't doing all THAT much better, and today's results were exactly the same. There were 'indications of possible progress' in January, but that progress didn't happen. He is still on a blood thinner, the coming-off which was the Great Hope.
Friday, also: our genetics FINALLY came back (a 'two to three month wait' that was 7 months long) and although there was only a 30% chance of finding a variant, they found one. Charlie has a unique variant on his V-something gene - but it's not a helpful gene, as in while they know that variations on that gene cause DCM, they can't predict any outcomes from it. So, useless. Matt and I gave our blood samples today, which means in 6 weeks we'll find out if we can have more kids, or if the chances are too high to risk it. It's 50/50 that either we passed it on to Charlie, or Charlie mutated that sucker all on his own. This is hitting me hard - there is a very good chance I won't be pregnant again. Sincerely, in that case, I took Charlie's pregnancy for granted.
ALSO Friday: Matt pukes on the way home from the hospital. Not. Kidding. He's been sleeping since 6pm. It's now 10, and I have made him a little 'apartment' in our room until he gets better. Honestly, though, if he has the flu, we all have it.
Have you had a worse week? I hope not. Tomorrow will be a better day? How could it be worse?!
**Update** Hilariously (or not), I fell and broke my arm the day after I wrote this. That's how it can be worse.
One week - Barenaked Ladies
It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said I'm angry
Five days since you laughed at me saying
Get that together come back and see me
Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault but couldn't tell you
Yesterday, you'd forgiven me
But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry
Hold it now and watch the hood wink
As I make you stop think
You'll think you're looking at aqua man
I summon fish to the dish although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the Sushi 'cause it's never touched a frying pan
Hot like Wasabe when I bust rhymes
Big like Leann Rimes
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits
You try to match wits, you try to hold me but I bust through
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinkin' achin' shake
I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavors
Gotta see the show 'cause then you'll know
The vertigo is gonna grow
'Cause it's so dangerous
You'll have to sign a waiver
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean? Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt
It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air and said you're crazy
Five days since you tackled me
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees
It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized it's not my fault not a moment too soon
Yesterday, you'd forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait till you say you're sorry
Chickity China of the Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin' X files with no lights on
We're dans la maison
I hope the smoking man's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic
Like Sting I'm Tantric
Like snickers guaranteed to satisfy
Like Kurasawa I make mad films
Okay, I don't make films
But if I did they'd have a Samurai
Gonna get a set of better clubs
Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs
Just so my irons aren't always flying off the back swing
Gotta get in tune with sailor moon
'Cause the cartoon has got the boom Anime Babes
That make me think the wrong thing
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of losing my shirt
It's been one week since you looked at me
Dropped your arms to your sides and said I'm sorry
Five days since I laughed at you and said
You just did just what I thought you were gonna do
Three days since the living room
We realized we're both to blame
But what could we do?
Yesterday, you just smiled at me
'Cause it'll still be two days till we say we're sorry
It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry
It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry
Birch mount stadium, home of the Robbie
Monday: my younger (27!) brother is diagnosed with a brain tumour.
Tuesday: my dad goes in for prostate cancer surgery.
Wendesday: I go visit my dad in hospital, and am told that my brother will be in a different hospital the next day for BRAIN SURGERY.
Thursday: Brain surgery day. More hospital. Jamie comes out of it fine, but they were unable to biopsy the tumour, so the future is hazy as to a plan. :(
Thursday late/ Friday early: Charlie, teething, is up from 2am - 4am. Matt stays up with him and then is too wired to go to sleep for an hour before we leave for the hospital. Matt functions almost all day on 4 hours of sleep.
Friday: trip to our hospital for an echo day with Charlie. We were excited about said echo because at last check, he was doing so well, remember? Well, it turns out that he really wasn't doing all THAT much better, and today's results were exactly the same. There were 'indications of possible progress' in January, but that progress didn't happen. He is still on a blood thinner, the coming-off which was the Great Hope.
Friday, also: our genetics FINALLY came back (a 'two to three month wait' that was 7 months long) and although there was only a 30% chance of finding a variant, they found one. Charlie has a unique variant on his V-something gene - but it's not a helpful gene, as in while they know that variations on that gene cause DCM, they can't predict any outcomes from it. So, useless. Matt and I gave our blood samples today, which means in 6 weeks we'll find out if we can have more kids, or if the chances are too high to risk it. It's 50/50 that either we passed it on to Charlie, or Charlie mutated that sucker all on his own. This is hitting me hard - there is a very good chance I won't be pregnant again. Sincerely, in that case, I took Charlie's pregnancy for granted.
ALSO Friday: Matt pukes on the way home from the hospital. Not. Kidding. He's been sleeping since 6pm. It's now 10, and I have made him a little 'apartment' in our room until he gets better. Honestly, though, if he has the flu, we all have it.
This is not, by the way, a cry for help. I am fine. We are fine. Really. This is where I vent. So don't go Facebooking me about how I'm doing or being me a casserole. Really, I'm FINE. :)
Have you had a worse week? I hope not. Tomorrow will be a better day? How could it be worse?!
**Update** Hilariously (or not), I fell and broke my arm the day after I wrote this. That's how it can be worse.
One week - Barenaked Ladies
It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said I'm angry
Five days since you laughed at me saying
Get that together come back and see me
Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault but couldn't tell you
Yesterday, you'd forgiven me
But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry
Hold it now and watch the hood wink
As I make you stop think
You'll think you're looking at aqua man
I summon fish to the dish although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the Sushi 'cause it's never touched a frying pan
Hot like Wasabe when I bust rhymes
Big like Leann Rimes
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits
You try to match wits, you try to hold me but I bust through
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinkin' achin' shake
I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavors
Gotta see the show 'cause then you'll know
The vertigo is gonna grow
'Cause it's so dangerous
You'll have to sign a waiver
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean? Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt
It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air and said you're crazy
Five days since you tackled me
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees
It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized it's not my fault not a moment too soon
Yesterday, you'd forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait till you say you're sorry
Chickity China of the Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin' X files with no lights on
We're dans la maison
I hope the smoking man's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic
Like Sting I'm Tantric
Like snickers guaranteed to satisfy
Like Kurasawa I make mad films
Okay, I don't make films
But if I did they'd have a Samurai
Gonna get a set of better clubs
Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs
Just so my irons aren't always flying off the back swing
Gotta get in tune with sailor moon
'Cause the cartoon has got the boom Anime Babes
That make me think the wrong thing
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of losing my shirt
It's been one week since you looked at me
Dropped your arms to your sides and said I'm sorry
Five days since I laughed at you and said
You just did just what I thought you were gonna do
Three days since the living room
We realized we're both to blame
But what could we do?
Yesterday, you just smiled at me
'Cause it'll still be two days till we say we're sorry
It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry
It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry
Birch mount stadium, home of the Robbie
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Bad day
Charlie had his one year immunizations yesterday, and he was amazingly good about them. With the first shot, he literally gritted his teeth and just looked at the nurse as though he was saying, 'you bitch.' I should have known something bad was around the corner - we don't seem to get off easy!
This morning Charlie was SUPER sleepy, which is rare but not unheard of. We've had a weird, busy couple of days, so ok, you're tired. As SOON as I picked him up, though, the shrieking began. And it didn't stop. All. Day.
His arms hurt - I get it. I remember once, I think I was 10, I had a booster and holy shit! did my arm hurt. I remember my mom telling me 'oh god, Kristina, it can't be that bad. And if it IS that bad, you'll have to move it before it'll get better! So stop complaining!'. If I could have said that to Charlie today, I would have. There is only so much 'oooo, you're ok, let's snuggle' one can say, people. I hit the limit today.
So, all day I had a whiny baby. Oh my goodness, the child whined about everything. Plus, he couldn't seem to make up his mind as to what he wanted to do! 'I wanna be on the floor! Whaaaaaa!' 'Gimme that toy! I said THAT TOY! Whaaaaaaa!' 'THAT TOY! Whaaaaa!'. It just went on and on. Matt couldn't believe it when he got home. This was not our child. Plus, he barfed a TON today - apparently, one of the side effects of the vaccinations can be nausea, but nausea for Charlie means barfs because he doesn't have anything stopping the barf from coming up! So, lots of clean up today. He even threw up his solids, at which point I (actually) threw in the towel and just snuggled him for the rest of the day.
I'm now wondering if tomorrow will be worse. I seem to remember my arm getting sorer and sorer until it just stopped being sore. Hm.
So, that was my day. How was yours?
Bad day - Daniel Powter
Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on
Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
(Oooh.. a holiday..)
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
(yeah...)
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
This morning Charlie was SUPER sleepy, which is rare but not unheard of. We've had a weird, busy couple of days, so ok, you're tired. As SOON as I picked him up, though, the shrieking began. And it didn't stop. All. Day.
His arms hurt - I get it. I remember once, I think I was 10, I had a booster and holy shit! did my arm hurt. I remember my mom telling me 'oh god, Kristina, it can't be that bad. And if it IS that bad, you'll have to move it before it'll get better! So stop complaining!'. If I could have said that to Charlie today, I would have. There is only so much 'oooo, you're ok, let's snuggle' one can say, people. I hit the limit today.
So, all day I had a whiny baby. Oh my goodness, the child whined about everything. Plus, he couldn't seem to make up his mind as to what he wanted to do! 'I wanna be on the floor! Whaaaaaa!' 'Gimme that toy! I said THAT TOY! Whaaaaaaa!' 'THAT TOY! Whaaaaa!'. It just went on and on. Matt couldn't believe it when he got home. This was not our child. Plus, he barfed a TON today - apparently, one of the side effects of the vaccinations can be nausea, but nausea for Charlie means barfs because he doesn't have anything stopping the barf from coming up! So, lots of clean up today. He even threw up his solids, at which point I (actually) threw in the towel and just snuggled him for the rest of the day.
I'm now wondering if tomorrow will be worse. I seem to remember my arm getting sorer and sorer until it just stopped being sore. Hm.
So, that was my day. How was yours?
Bad day - Daniel Powter
Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on
Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
(Oooh.. a holiday..)
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
(yeah...)
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
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