A Cheat

It's been a good week. Charlie is doing well. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, but right now, I am feeling as positive as I have so far. He seems happy, feedings are going well (or we've just gotten used to the 'new normal'), he is eating a bit of cereal, tummy time is going well, he can sit (!), he is napping well, etc. :)

This is a cheat. I wrote this about Charlie for Facebook a while back, pre-diagnosis, but for those of you who didn't see it, here it is. We just love him so much.

*Sunday, 8am update: other shoe dropped. Double barf. :(

I need to share something. Since I had Charlie, I've realized how much of who we are comes with us right out of the womb. I used to be one of those people who thought you learned everything from your parents ; I was the 'nurture' side in the 'nature vs. nurture' argument time and time again. How could your parents NOT completely shape who you are and who you've become? They are your original role models and, obviously, are the only people you really take after.

But Charlie shows so much of his own personality and person-ness already, and we haven't had any time to shape him yet. He's stubborn, willful, has a good sense of humor, likes to laugh, likes to sleep and other nuance to numerous to list here. He has personality twitches, too, like the fact that he wrinkles his nose when he starts to giggle, or that he smiles crookedly when he knows you're trying to be funny but he just doesn't get it. He observes everything. I can't believe how much of a person he already is. And to think we _all_ came out already people, already ready to go...it's astonishing.

This is not to say parents don't matter - I think we're going to get to shape who Charlie becomes - in kindness, in generosity, in acceptance. We'll get to teach him to steer clear of silly things like cigarettes and dirt bikes, and more dangerous things like drugs and binge drinking. We'll get to help him become the best version of himself - but that self-ness is already there, just waiting to come out each and every day.

I don't want this to be some ramble about how amazing my child is. Matt and I have accepted that since we are very average people, the chances os him being an NBA star or being the next Bill Gates are pretty slim. But he'll be _him_, this brand new person we're coming to know and already love, and that is just so cool.