Elizabeth turns 1.

Our beautiful, healthy baby girl turns 1 today. I have spent the last 24 hours going over where I was a year ago today: getting induced, waiting for that to work, heading back to the hospital, labour, delivery, no epidural. I have very specific memories - snapshots from those hours. I remember the jerk nurse we had when we first got to the hospital who had clearly been through a zillion births before and was past caring. I remember my mum calling my cell phone the morning after Elizabeth was born and asking what I was doing, and I answered 'Oh, we're just looking at the lights.'. Pressing my forehead against the cold glass of the car window on our final trip back to the hospital. How weird it was to be waiting for the induction to work, at home, with no Charlie (he went to my parent's house for a couple of days). My doctor making fun of me because holding Matt's hand made me feel less pain ('magic hands, this guy!'). It's all a blur and yet it's not. I'm sure all that is typical.

What is not typical, of course, are the memories of our stress and worry throughout the pregnancy and beyond. What is this new girl baby was the same as Charlie? What is she was worse? All of our fears seemingly confirmed on day 10 of life, with a 'not normal' echo result. That first month was brutal. To have a sick child we weren't expecting was one thing. To have brought a possibly sick(er) child into the world knowing the risks would have been worse.

As it turned out, though, everything was fine. Fast forward a few months and Elizabeth was growing, eating like a horse, healthy heart and happy face. While she techincally has DCM genetically, those genetics are such a grey area that they shouldn't even be a consdieration. She is on a preventative dose of a simple medication three times a day, and will hopefully come off that with no ill effects as of May of this year. Her heart is normal. She is 'normal'.

We lucked out, plain and simple. Charlie recovered and Elizabeth is perfect. For people who at one time felt like we couldn't have much else go wrong, it has all gone so, so right. So today is a day of gratitude, more than anything else. I simply could not love them more.

First birthday outfit

Walking home from school